Please Stop Criticising Yourself
Why is it so much easier to fixate on something we said, something we didn’t do “well”, or the way we look… than to remember the way we made someone smile? Or all the things that did go well? Or that true beauty is projected through our warmth, not our aesthetics?
Nobody ever goes to therapy to talk about their constant positive thoughts, do they?
“Why are we devastated by a word of criticism, even when it’s mixed with lavish praise?” — Roy Baumeister & John Tierney, The Power of Bad
Hermann Ebbinghaus, a German psychologist, found we lose at least half of new information quickly unless we revisit it. If we only “revisit” the criticisms, those are what we keep in our memory.
What if we revisited the smiles, the warmth, the things that went well?
This inspired me to write a little poem to meditate on:
Choose Something More Upbeat
May I celebrate all that went well today, rather than fixate on words that came out the wrong way.
May I appreciate the warmth my smile endows, rather than recoil at the dented line between my brows.
May I take valuable lessons from what didn’t go as expected, then forget about them until I’m next tested.
If my thoughts are going to stay on repeat, then can I choose something more upbeat?
Tonight, make a highlight reel of what you are grateful for, and leave the criticisms sprawled on the editing floor.
Big Love, Em x
